Since ancient times, China's prevailing philosophy has been one that preaches harmony and peace - qualities which are most desirable for a family, a business entity, a society, or the whole world. There are many proverbs emphasizing the importance of harmony such as "A harmonious family will prosper," "Harmony benefits both, and fighting will hurt all," and "Harmony is most precious."

But the spirit of "being harmonious" is just what is lacking most in our contemporary society. Many people will often have heard their neighbors' family problems: A middle-aged husband falls in love with a beautiful young woman; the wife gets to know about this and fights with the man for several years; and finally the two get divorced, leaving all the hurt to their children. Or perhaps a son has abused his elderly parents for several years. This is because his father and mother have health problems and cannot take care of themselves - the costs of elderly care today are so high - while his younger brother is still jobless after graduating from college.

What happens next? In the first story - which happened on the Chinese mainland - the husband was generous enough to give all his assets to his wife and children, including the house, the car and the bank savings - for the sake of his freedom, so he could be together with a young lover. Meanwhile, the young woman, in her mid-20s, gets the mature and caring man she has "loved and cherished" so much after so much sacrifice and patience. However after a few years, the two "new lovers" separate because the man misses his former wife and children, who together used to be a happy and well-off family. The young woman likes luxury cosmetics, handbags...but the man cannot afford to buy these things for her any longer because he has come to mistrust the woman's promises that she will never leave him.

In the second story the elder brother, who is in his mid-30s, has got a kindergarten-aged child and is a 7-Eleven shop assistant in Hong Kong, with a salary of only around HK$10,000. His wife works at a Fairwood chain restaurant as a cashier, earning roughly the same. For 30 years, the family of four has been living in a public housing unit of around 300 square feet and sleeping in double-deck beds. But now the family of six has to stay in the same house with three double-deck beds. We should not blame the two brothers too much, because they cannot even afford to pay the down payment to buy a 200-square-foot house for their parents - let alone rent a home for elderly people with helpers. Finally, the story ends with the parents taking two bottles of sleeping pills to end their lives, so as to lessen the burden on their two sons, leaving all sorrow and sadness behind them

This is true life, not just wondrous fiction!

Let's look at the original picture, before these sad outcomes. In the first story, the husband was a mid-level banker, who earned an excellent monthly salary of around 80,000 yuan ($12,000), excluding the year-end bonus, in a first-tier city on the mainland. The wife was a school teacher who could earn roughly 10,000 yuan a month. They had been classmates at a prestigious university, falling in love with each other when they were sophomores and getting married two years after graduation. Five years after marriage, they had two children - the older one is a boy, and the second one a girl. The family of four had been living a happy life for 10 years before the young woman, who was a subordinate of the husband's, appeared on the scene. That's it.

For the two Hong Kong brothers, the story is rather more pitiful. The parents were jobless and lived off the proceeds of selling plastic flowers on the street every day. Their own parents were also poor and jobless - originally illegal immigrants from the mainland in the mid-1970s. The two brothers, who were born in the mid-1980s and early-1990s, struggled hard for a better life. The elder brother got an associate degree from Hong Kong Shue Yan University and the younger has a bachelor's degree from Hang Seng Management College. They did this not just for themselves, but for their parents. However, living costs are just so high in Hong Kong. The two brothers quarreled every day in the couple of years before their parents' deaths, blaming each other for ignoring the responsibility of taking care of their sick parents. If the two brothers had not argued so often in front of their parents but instead discussed patiently in private how to solve the problems they face, their parents would not have chosen the way of ending their lives, leaving the two brothers to experience lifelong sorrow and sadness.

These and other stories go to show that harmony is the most precious thing for families. No matter what problems happen, "No hurry, no worry, no problem!" Let's be calm, sit down and talk. There are always more solutions than problems - so long as we are rational, patient and tolerant with each other. In this world a man faces many lures and traps, especially from young women, which requires a wife to be soft, understanding and caring. Short-term mistakes can be solved in a proper way without arguing or fighting, which quite often leads to divorce and a sad ending for all, including the children.

Caring for seniors is a big social problem, not just for Hong Kong. Throughout the world, so many countries and regions are facing the challenges of becoming an aging society, be it Japan, Hong Kong, the Chinese mainland or the United States. Let's stop blaming the government and political leaders, stop scolding rival parties and the party heads, or complaining about this unscrupulous world. The earth's resources are rare, but the population keeps growing. Let's throw off ideological bias, racial discrimination, religious difference, and mistrust for others.

Today's world needs harmony - be it a family, a company, a society, or a nation.

(HK Edition 09/26/2016 page9)