It's analogue versus digital in a pair of romances for the modern world. Elizabeth Kerr reports.

What makes romance work - in real life and in the movies - is a mystery. Thousands of newspaper pages, trillions of bytes and innumerable wine-laced conversations have revolved around the subject. And the movies have given us some of the most ridiculous, draconian, juvenile and unattainable representations of romance ever committed to permanent media. Romance handled in a way that doesn't condescend and also challenges our notions of what romance even is is a rare and beautiful thing.

A pair of films hitting Hong Kong screens now proves that the sometimes crippling fear of reaching out to another person strikes us all, be it a high or low-tech world. What linksThe LunchboxandHeris the central conceit of anonymous connection; the idea that the more real a person may be the harder it is to forge an honest relationship with them. In many ways, these are two of the most depressing films to come along in a while, but they also have an innate sense of humanity that makes it easy as a viewer, and perhaps a subject, to hope for the best. First-time filmmaker Ritesh Batra'sThe Lunchbox, set in teeming and chaotic Mumbai and positively oozing a sense of place, serves as a perfect counterpoint to video director and narrative iconoclast Spike Jonze's (Adaptation,Where the Wild Things Are) meticulous near-future sterile Los Angeles that underscores the common bonds between the lonely, isolated souls at the heart of both stories.

A few years ago, the vaunted Harvard Business School wrote a research paper about Mumbai's flawless and mind-boggling dabbawalas, the army of delivery men that ensure home-cooked lunches get to office workers' desks every day. Harvard determined about one lunch in one million goes astray. Batra uses that single case as the basis for his delicate, observant and wholly satisfying quasi-romance that is simultaneously universal and intensely Indian.

The Lunchboxstarts with unhappy housewife Ila (luminous theater actress Nimrat Kaur) preparing lunch for her negligent husband. She regularly gets cooking advice from her wise and painfully blunt neighbor Auntie (Bharati Achrekar, who we never see) on how to win back her husband's attention through food. Like any other day, she packs his multi-tiered lunchbox and sends it off with the dabbawala. But this lunch isthe onethat falls off its course, landing instead on the desk of soon-retiring widower Saajan Fernandes (Irrfan Khan, best knownoutside India forLife of PiandSlumdogMillionaire).

InHer, Jonze creates a sci-fi romance that is more firmly rooted in the here and now than most of the rom-coms of the last decade. Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix) is a professional letter writer for Beautiful Handwritten Letters.com (probably coming soon to a computer near you), a genius with romantic words and gestures for others but not so good atdoingitforhimself. After seeing an ad, his curiosity regarding personalized operating systems is peaked and he winds up with Samantha (voiced by Scarlett Johansson). In a world disconnected from itself, where everyone is perpetually scrolling their advanced-retro iPhones, the bespoke artificial intelligences fill the gap where people used to talk to each other. As Samantha adapts, learns and grows as a "person", Theodore finds himself falling in love with her. And he's not alone. When a co-worker, Paul (Chris Pratt), suggests he and Theodore do a double date, Theodore comes clean and says his girlfriend is an O/S. Paul responds with a simple, "Cool". Theodore's college friend and neighbor Amy (Amy Adams) getsher own O/S, which substitutes nicely when her marriage collapses.

At the heart of both films is discovery of honest communication without the fears and anxiety that comes with it. Ila and Saajan are trapped in their own ways: she in a joyless marriage and he in a years-long exile of his own making following the death of his wife. When Ila figures out her husband has not been the one emptying the lunchbox, her first message simply informing Saajan of her error, and his reply complimenting her on the food, blossoms into a rich and rewarding relationship that both feel safe in. By laying bare their hopes, regrets and fears in their analogue letters (which oddly gives the story a sense of urgency and "realness"), Ila and Saajan both find the fortitude to take action in their lives. Saajan even allows himself to be befriended by his replacement, Shaikh (Nawazuddin Siddiqui, art house actionerGangs of Wasseypur). This mutual awakening isThe Lunchbox's greatest strength, and Batra's sensitive portrait of ordinary lives is extraordinary. Khan (who really should be in all movies) and Kaur's gorgeously understated performances make you root for them as a couple but appreciate them for their emotional agency and independence. If they get together, they'll be better people when they do.

At the other end of the spectrum, Theodore is a loner, mostly due to his divorce from Catherine (Rooney Mara), who has a rude awakening when he starts dating his laptop (as Catherine says). Theodore claims to love how Samantha understands him, and how comfortable he feels with her, but it's on his terms. As Samantha grows and begins exhibiting very human proclivities like jealousy and discovering other interests, the thrill starts to fade. After a verbal spanking from Catherine, he starts to question his own role in his failed relationship.

Herhas its quirks: only in the movies does one guy that no sane woman would go out with manage to attract Olivia Wilde, Mara and Johansson, and it has flashes of iciness that give it a distant tone when it's not being twee (exhibit A: the Oscar-nominated "Moon Song"). It's also not simply a romance. Jonze tackles more than a few heady topics, including the definition of "alive", what precisely constitutes intimacy and whether or not it matters where we find it. Ultimately, Jonze seems to be saying that remove from humanity could make life easy - despite the bereft feeling Theodore and Amy have with their O/Ses absent - and Batra is making the argument that more real human interaction will be our salvation.

The Lunchboxopened in Hong Kong on Thursday.Heropens in Hong Kong on March 1.

(HK Edition 03/07/2014 page7)