Stephen Gately's husband still grieving
(Agencies)
2010-05-11 14:06
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Stephen Gately's husband still kisses him goodnight.
Andrew Cowles agreed for the ashes of the late Boyzone singer - who died of natural causes in October - to be flown to his mother in Ireland but admits he takes comfort in still taking part in some of the rituals they shared together.
He said: "The family asked if his mother could have his ashes as she was having a very tough time.
"I was getting no comfort from them. I thought if anything could alleviate some pain for her. In the end, I can't have him back and having his ashes isn't him.
"I do still always kiss Stephen goodnight. But it's tough when you don't get the, 'I love you' back.' "
The 32-year-old internet entrepreneur is still struggling to come to terms with the death of Stephen - who he was in a relationship with for almost seven years - and often finds himself getting angry over his loss.
He explained in an interview with the Daily Mirror newspaper: "I have found myself cussing him, just a few times, for leaving me. It's not fair because he didn't have a choice."
However, Andrew takes comfort in knowing that Stephen was content when he passed away.
He added: "The night he died, we'd had such a good time, a lovely evening in his favourite restaurant. He was the most happy and confident he'd been in his life and he'd just finished his book.
"He died under my arm, curled up on the sofa and it was a good few hours before I realised he wasn't sleeping.
"I do get some comfort from knowing how happy he was that day."