Keanu Reeves, a self-described "vagabond," is ready to settle down, he says – and that includes having a family.
"I'm trying not to be alone so much," the actor, 41, who costars with Sandra Bullock in this summer's The Lake House, tells Parade magazine in its June 11 issue. "And man, it's a struggle. I want to get married. I want to have kids. That's at the top of the mountain. I've got to climb the mountain first. I'll do it. Just give me some time."
In the interview, Reeves talks about his father, who abandoned the family when Reeves was a toddler, and his much-married mother, who moved the family numerous times – a lifestyle Reeves adopted himself.
"I've had a vagabond life," he says. "There is a bit of the gypsy in me, and living that way seemed to make sense. I couldn't settle down. I liked going to new places – renting apartments, staying in hotels. Then I turned 40. That birthday is hard, perhaps because you know you're grown-up. So now it's a makeover for me. I have bought my first house. I wanted a home."
Reeves has faced a number of tragedies in his life. His best friend, River Phoenix, died of a drug overdose in 1993 at the age of 23, and Reeves's sister, Kim, 39, is battling leukemia.
He also talks about his late girlfriend Jennifer Syme, whom he met in 1998 and who later gave birth to their stillborn baby daughter. Reeves and Syme remained best friends until April 2001, when Syme died in a car crash.
"Damn it! It's not fair! It's absurd," Reeves tells the magazine. "Grief changes shape, but it never ends. People have a misconception that you can deal with it and say, 'It's gone, and I'm better.' They're wrong. When the people you love are gone, you're alone."
He goes on to say, "I miss being a part of their lives and them being a part of mine. I wonder what the present would be like if they were here – what we might have done together. I miss all the great things that will never be."
Reeves also starred in "The Matrix" movies.