The Confucian way of saying, I love you
By Sam Crane(China Daily)
Updated: 2006-12-02 07:16

Confucianism is often considered a rigid and conservative philosophy, unsuited to the changing values and practices of modern society. There may be some truth in that perception, especially as it relates to the ways Confucian thought was used historically to authorize state power and patriarchal rule.

But there is more to Confucianism than that.

If we go back to the Analects we can find a more open-minded and flexible understanding of humanity, one that is relevant for contemporary life.

To get to the heart of the matter, the Confucian idea of ritual (Li) might be seen as the most rigid of ideas, a demand that we practise standardized and formal ceremonies for every significant life event: births, deaths, weddings, venerations of ancestors, etc.

Yet, while Confucius certainly believed that we should thoughtfully enact our social roles, his notion of ritual was neither so narrow nor so rigid as modern interpreters might suppose.

Take one of the most cryptic passages in the Analects: "Gu (ritual vessel), not a gu, a gu indeed, a gu indeed." (,,.G b g, g zi, g zi.)

The simplicity of the passage opens it to multiple interpretations, but some commentators see in it a move away from dry formalism and an acceptance of diverse expressions of sincerity.

Confucius, in this passage, may be commenting on a situation where ritual procedure calls for a vessel of a certain sort, a gu, but one is not available. The ceremony proceeds with some other type of cup, not a gu, standing in for the usual object. In the end, however, the form of vessel does not matter.

Rather, the sincerity behind the act is so genuine that the expression of deep human commitment invests the non-gu with the significance of a gu. It is a gu indeed, because the loving care of humane action makes it so.

The larger message is that we do not have to blindly adhere to traditional ritual forms. Intentions and sentiments are most important. If we truly care about what we are doing, then we can find many different ways to perform our social duties considerately and meaningfully.

Our modern lives have changed the forms of our social relationships. Work may take us away from home and consume much of our time. New communications media create novel channels for human interaction.

Beneath all of the social and cultural change, however, we still have a need to cultivate our closest ties with family and friends. Those social bonds define us as individuals and, if we are to express fully our individuality, we must attend to our social roles.

Confucius understands this. He tells us that the form of our meaningful interactions with others will change as society changes around us.

Traditional means of performing our social commitments may not be available to us. Yet if we are sincere in our feelings, we will find new and appropriate expressions of our heart-felt affections. We will make a gu out of the circum-stances at hand.

(China Daily 12/02/2006 page1)