There's no reason to come down against Nice. It's another Beijing mega-club whose main selling point is its location across from Jianwai SOHO. It throbs with LEDs, neon and looped rap videos. Square footage puts it right up there with the biggest in Beijing. Local DJs throw down vanilla hip hop spiced up by the occasional out-of-towner, such as Portia Surreal, the DJ-fetishist, who came through on New Year's Eve. Portia's philosophy is that "theater, music and sexuality are artistically synonymous," which makes complete sense in the Beijing club scene where voyeurism, bad mixing and one night stands constitute a reliable business model. We appreciate that Nice wants to do more.

But it's the same basic formula. Cavernous dance area ringed by tables (£¤400 minimum) and zebra-print private booths (RMB1000). More private booths on the second floor with KTV on the third. The cheapest beer is RMB35; shooters are £¤100 for a half shot. On average nights there's no cover. The service is annoyingly officious, but only laowais feel waiters fussing about is annoying. Chinese patrons expect it. On the night we were there, there were two dozen chicks on the dance floor and two guys. Yet somehow it still seemed like the odds were stacked terribly against us.

We're in a nightlife bubble here. Everyone can see that. Trapped between desire and reality. With Portia Surreal leering down, patiently holding a riding crop.

Nice Club
Location: 1/F, 99 Jianguo Lu, Zhongfu Building
Tel: 010-6583-1818/5757