Regal's promotional poster features a baffling trio of pictures captioned, "open the door" (picture of sexy lady opening the door-fair enough), "open the mind" (picture of the splayed legs of another sexy minx-um, okay) and "open the air," which doesn't make sense at all and is depicted by (surprise!) another foxy temptress ¡­ opening, erm, a bottle.

As a result of this nonsensical advertising campaign, it's very difficult to take Regal seriously before you even go. Those brave/stupid enough to risk a visit are greeted by staff dressed in brown, frilled shirts, resplendent with red bow ties, and if their unfortunate attire isn't quite enough to turn your stomach, the garish neon and luminous chandeliers might do the trick.

Worried by my visible repulsion, my guide assured me that the first three floors were comprised entirely of KTV rooms, each one designed differently to the next, while the fourth floor houses the main club area. Entry is free here, but extortionate drinks prices ensure the management makes its money back. I only stayed long enough for one RMB 40 beer, after which I had courage enough to hurl myself out of the nearest window.

Regal Club
Open time: 8pm-3am.
Location: 22, Garden 4, Gongti Beilu
Tel: 010-65001888