Shanghai: With Yu Shunshun

(China Daily)
Updated: 2009-07-20 16:23

 

The life of economic school graduate Yu Shunshun has changed dramatically since she started writing blogs about relationship issues in 2005. With her hobby subsequently metamorphosing into a full-time job, the 40-year-old mother of two now serves as both a radio host and author.

Shanghai Star Weekend reporter Xu Xiaomin caught up with Yu at a Popular Bookmall in Pudong where she was busy signing copies of her fourth opus Private Talk to Men and Women 3.

Q: Of all the letters you receive, what are the most difficult issues to deal with?

A: Women who depend on men and don't have a job, or any sort of income, are the most difficult group to help.

Once their husbands have abandoned them, they feel their world has totally collapsed, and they have no idea how to keep on going. They are really confused about what to do, for example whether they should get divorced or not.

I tell them again and again that most men are not reliable, and that women should be independent, that this is not a cliche. Even though they seem much clearer after our chats, two or three days later they tend to forget everything and revert to crying over their husbands.

In many ways it seems that we haven't evolved over the past 2,000 years, as I still encounter the same patterns that crop up in ancient Chinese literature and poetry, namely, that people want what they cannot have.

Q: Can you tell me about one of your most memorable letters?

A: Years ago, a reader in Harbin left a message on my blog saying that she planned to commit suicide by jumping from her 10th-floor apartment.

I was so worried that I asked my online readers in Harbin to look for her by tracing her online ID.

Somehow, someone found her one day later and went to see her at her apartment - where the woman was sleeping safe and sound.

It made me a little angry because it was so irresponsible of the woman to upset our community like that, but sadly there are a lot of people like this.

Q: Do you have any male readers?

A: Yes, and the number keeps on growing. When men find it difficult to deal with their wives and lovers, they come to me.

Q: What do you do when you encounter problems in your own life?

A: For the past several years I've been so preoccupied with work that my private life has taken a backseat. I have to respond to dozens of letters every day, and then there's my radio program at night. I also have a family to take care of, so I guess I'm the Dear Abby of our household.

Q: As a relationship expert, do you have any advice for our readers?

A: Life's short, so enjoy it. Think things through before you do anything rash. Don't expect that initial passion you feel for someone to last forever. Sometimes people fall in love with the feeling of being in love, when really they should focus more on the object of their desire.