Web-based consultation appeals to teenagers because of the anonymity and accessibility of the Internet. But website operators are reluctant to invest in such a service because advertisers or sponsors are still not ready for it.

Wang says game companies have offered to advertise. But she had been turning down their offers because computer game addiction, too, is a big problem among teenagers. "I try to instil the value of self-control. Running an advertisement for an addictive activity would be a contradiction."

A role for the parents

Sex education for children is a challenge for all parents, but Chinese parents seem to be particularly clumsy with it. During their adolescence, sex education didn't exist, and sex out of wedlock was still a burning shame.

The Municipal Women's Federation of Beijing polled 1,500 parents and found that 74 per cent had chosen to avoid the topic. Parents polled by Green Apple House said they felt not knowledgeable enough (57 per cent) or too embarrassed (23 per cent) to talk about sex with their children.

"Many parents equate sex education with explaining intercourse. This is a misconception," Wang said.

Sex education, she said, is much more than reproduction and contraception. It should also cover values related to sex, relationship and intimacy.

Wang said that parents should decide what to teach their children according to the circumstances.

"I believe the facts should be taught by the school," she said. " If the school is not teaching it, maybe you can give your children a book. Of course, it's best if you can comfortably discuss the book with them."

And there are no better people than the parents to teach values.

"Sex education, in essence, is about helping your children to become good men and women," Zhang Meimei said. "Think of it as a part of the life skills you want to give your children."

She believes the secret to successful sex education is to make it a long-term, everyday process.

A Sunday afternoon chat aimed at resolving all puberty issues is obviously awkward. "But it'll be a good discussion opportunity when your child comes home from school and reports that a classmate has had her first period," she said.

If the talk about self-control and responsibility starts to sound like preaching, it's a good idea to use real-life stories. Every child wants to know the love story of their parents, even if they think their parents boring and old-fashioned, suggested Claura Lau, a social worker supervising a pregnant girls' service in the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region.

Meanwhile, it's an important task for the parents to provide timely guidance when issues arise.

In Wang's experience, the frequently asked questions from the boys are "if their sex organs are too small, if they have redundant foreskin and if they have masturbated too much." Girls are often concerned with "the development of their breasts, menstruation and pregnancy."

Wang urged parents to take time to thoroughly discuss an issue, even though from the adult's point of view, the most convenient thing to do is to relax and do nothing.

A boy she counselled went to his father with a question and was told "it's no big deal."

"But children won't be satisfied with a simple 'no big deal,' " Wang said. "They are still puzzled. They want to know why it's no big deal and if the reason is valid."

Both Zhang and Wang agree that the role of sex educator may be a difficult one for Chinese parents, but it is one they must learn to take on.

Zhang Meimei plans to reintroduce her plan for the sex education camp next year. And this time, she said, the camp will be preceded by awareness campaigns towards the more important targets: "We will work on the parents first."

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