There was a time in China when a bride, who might have been 16 years old, didn't see her betrothed's face until his anxious hands removed her silken red veil on their wedding night.

Pairs of single men and women hold a 8-minute-talk face to face in Shanghai's Zhongshan Park on October 22, 2005. Nearly 5,000 local young professionals, all in a love hunt, convene for a mass match-making activity held in the park. [newsphoto]

Back then, only the head of a household could choose whom and when he would wed ¨C the marriages of all other family members were arranged. Some years later, despite the advent of gender equality, early, obligatory weddings remained the norm. During the "cultural revolution" (1966-1976), dressed in military attire, both clutching the "little red book," the affianced would proclaim their love and loyalty in front of an imposing portrait of the Great Helmsman.

These days, wealthy Chinese urbanites are doing no such thing. As karaoke bars sprout up on seemingly every street, and the Internet connects people to an infinite number of "friends," many young adults eschew the idea of marriage, at least until they've reached an older age.

It's not that youngsters today are stubbornly opposed to marriage, or that they want to be eternal bachelors or spinsters. "In my case, I haven't met the right person," says Wang Linye, a 23-year-old journalist in Beijing.

"Actually, there are so many reasons why people are getting married later that it's impossible to pinpoint one main factor." With China's new free market ideology, people are quickly becoming used to the idea of choice. This generation seeks excellence in everything, from stockings to sports cars to spouses, and its members have no qualms about exploring their options before making any decision. In that environment, wealth naturally translates into superiority.

"People of my parents' age didn't pay too much heed to a potential partner's economic condition, because the economic gap in society was small," says Linye, continuing, "If two people had a favorable attitude towards each other, they would fall in love and marry. Nowadays, there are huge economic gaps, and to a young woman looking to marry a guy, salary and family background are prime considerations. She expects a house and car, and thinks nothing of rejecting a suitor who cannot provide them. Girls like to keep up with the Joneses in this regard.¡±

The other side of the golden coin reads like this: many female urbanites no longer expect to depend on men for financial support. In days gone by, as long as a man could put enough mianbao on the table, his wife was happy to stay at home, look after the children, and mend his stinking socks. Not anymore, says Xu Fei, a 28-year-old desk editor in Beijing, "Women of my parents' generation were less financially independent than they are nowadays. Women today are no longer potential housewives relying on their husbands for a living. We can earn our own bread, and live an independent, relatively affluent lifestyle. Why should we marry as early as our parents?"

Personalities and the want of a satisfying relationship surpass practical concerns among young Chinese professionals choosing a mate today. Wang Linye says adamantly: "I'm going to wait until I find the right man for marriage, one I know I can happily spend the rest of my life with. Nothing less will do."

Some are happy simply to be single. "I would hate to sacrifice my personal interests for the sake of a man, so unless I meet a guy with similar interests, I could not consider marriage," says Xu Fei.

"I really enjoy my freedom!" New social activities pervade every large city, each vying for young professionals' time and money, whilst distracting them from maintaining a steady relationship.

"I eat in nice restaurants, go to the gym, and travel regularly," says Li, a 30-year-old project manager in Beijing. "When I had a boyfriend, I had less time to spend with my friends. I used to go home at 9pm. Now that I'm single again, I can go home at whatever time I choose."

Financial freedom is another bonus for the soldiers of solitaire, be they male or female. With no in-house bean counter demanding materialization of every receipt, bill or used lottery ticket for scrutiny, shopping splurges, maxed-out credit cards and horrific hangovers are guilt-free, if not entirely painless.

And in that, it seems, is invoked the vicious circle. Such extravagant behavior needs to be funded by work, work, and still more work. Even white collars that live relatively humble lifestyles need to put in some serious overtime to pay the bills in China today, where rice bowls are no longer fashioned from iron.

"I'm so tired at the end of my week that the last thing I want to do is put more energy into dating," says Dong, a 29-year-old male working in the media. "My job is highly demanding, and I have to work strange hours. None of this is conducive to finding a girl, much less holding on to one for marriage."

After carrying out an Internet poll, one popular Chinese website claimed the 10 "most single" professions were: interior design; journalism; accounting; consultancy; advertising; law; fashion design; makeup artistry/fashion photography; website design; acting and athletics.

What do parents make of their children's attitude towards marriage? "They want me to marry as soon as possible," complains Li, and ¡°mention this 'problem' once a week. But I think that as time passes they are more willing to see my point of view, and that they are becoming more tolerant."

Women today seem to put more pressure on their children to marry than men. Surely that is a change from the past, when it was the fathers who were keen to make sure that their genes traveled on through the millennia. Does it mean that modern Chinese parents value their children's happiness over tradition?

"In the old days, parents, particularly fathers, considered marrying off their children and carrying on the family line as vital," says Li Pu, a 34-year-old doctor who wedded just two years ago.

"Maybe now that parents know their own future more or less depends on their only child, they choose not to risk antagonizing them by being overly authoritarian. In this way they put their own wellbeing ahead of tradition. This is surely common practice in a graying society."

Wedding planners need not fear for their livelihoods upon reading this article. Marriage remains highly popular among the country's well-to-dos, however late it might occur.

"We might have reasons for delaying marriage, but it's still our dream," says Wang Linye, "We will make our dreams a reality, hopefully before we pass our sell-by date!" Lives must be lived, adventures must be had and freedom remains the catchphrase of the 21st century.

"Freedom," however, "is relative, as it can come at the cost of loneliness," points out Duan, a divorcee who knows the best ¨C and worst ¨C of both worlds.