My sunburnt home of Australia swelters on Christmas Day and the only jingle bells to be heard in the land of Oz is the sound of telephones ringing off their hooks.

Christmas Day is the busiest phone-calling day in the world and I'm sure many BJW readers will be thinking about time zones over the coming week. Phone lines in North and South America, Europe, Oceania and many parts of Africa are jam packed on December 25 with people yearning to hear the voices of loved ones. As all us expats know, these calls are a big deal, especially to our families.

My father emailed me this week asking if I was coming home for Christmas, and if not, he wanted the best Beijing number he could reach me on.

The Christmas day telephone tango begins.

I'll need about three phone cards at 30 yuan a pop and each one will last me more than 40 minutes. So much happens here, so I'll have to write down a few things for mum.

"Yes, I've seen the Wall. Yes it is big. No, I can't speak Chinese yet. Yes, the food is OK. Yes, I still like Chinese food. No, they don't force me to use chopsticks. No, I don't know why they call them chopsticks. Yes, I have very, very warm clothes. Yes, I've met new friends. No, I'm not thinking about getting married soon."

My dad will probably want to talk about his wave ski surfing adventures. "This big set came through, and we were perfectly placed in the take-off zone, and I went down the wave, and really hooked my paddle into the face. You can really get a good pivoting action, if you stick the paddle right into the face. Then I flicked the front of the ski at the lip, and it just smacks me down and "

I grew up in a family of surfing fanatics, however I never drank the Coolade so I get bored after hearing this ramble for 30 seconds, but we all know that Christmas phone calls are not about stimulating topics of conversation. They are about connecting. It'll be good to hear mum's and dad's voices.

My dad will joke. "The socks, underpants and surfer's board shorts are in the mail." This has been dad's Christmas present for the past 20 years, ever since I left the family home. I was disappointed at first with these boring presents and would ungratefully toss the items to the back of my drawers, still half wrapped in Christmas paper.

However a week after Christmas, the great value of his humble gift became very apparent. In a desperate rush for work, I would always be searching for clean socks and underwear. Then I would remember my secret stash. Good on you Dad.

I'll get all the news in snippets from Mark (my brother). He'll say that he, Melinda (his wife) and the kids (my nephews and niece) are having Christmas in Newcastle. Tracey (my Queensland cousin) is thinking of coming down south for a Sydney visit. Peter's (her husband) kitchen installation business is going great. Has eight guys working for him now. Col (Dad's best friend) is coming over for coffee as he has for years. Christine (my dad's partner) has one more month on her executive contract, and then they are going on a two-month 4WD drive around Australia. Oh yes, and Dad got a great deal on a pop-up tent.

The subject matter of my Christmas calls will not involve earth-shattering news and will not be particularly quirky or funny.

But they will give me a nice perspective on my life here in Beijing.

I love it here, and the calls will remind me that the world is a big place, and most people love it where they live too.

Contact the author at patwhiteley@yahoo.com

(China Daily 12/14/2006 page15)