Carer tells of her loneliness in the big city

Since she started to take care of her grandson two years ago, Zhang Yueju, 62, has set three times on her phone alarm clock－6 am, 11 am and 5 pm－to remind her to cook. She follows this schedule almost every day.

"For me, it doesn't matter if I eat early or late, but as my grandson has to go to school, everything has to be done according to his schedule," she said.

Zhang, who comes from Yingtan, Jiangxi province, used to run a store with her husband in her hometown. Her son, who works in Hefei, capital of Anhui province, after graduating from a university in the city, asked his mother to help him take care of his 7-year-old son, as both he and his wife are busy at work.

With four people living in her son's 70-square-meter flat, Zhang tries not to make any noise in the morning to avoid disturbing the others' sleep until she wakes them when breakfast is ready.

School, a market and home are the three places Zhang has experienced most in the past two years. Every morning after breakfast at around 7:30 am, her son and daughter-in-law send her grandson off to school before they go to work. Zhang then does the cleaning, washes clothes and goes to the market to buy fresh food, before returning home to prepare lunch for the grandson.

"Food in the local supermarkets is expensive, so I often go to a distant market, where the fruit and vegetables are fresher and cheaper. I don't have much spare time, as there are chores to do every day. After taking my grandson back to school at noon, I walk around the school or community before going to the school gate, where I wait to pick him up," she said.

As Zhang is habitually thrifty, she does not accept her daughter-in-law frequently spending large amounts to shop online. She sometimes complains about this to her son, who often asks her to be open-minded and not to interfere with young people's business.

"I know that meddling in my children's lives could make them unhappy, but I work from morning to night, and I can't bear it when I see something I think is wrong. I also want to make life better for my family when I see something is wrong," Zhang said.

Big city life also makes Zhang feel bored and lonely. Apart from her son, daughter-in-law and grandson, she barely knows anybody else in Hefei.

"My Mandarin is also not that good. Sometimes when I go out and talk to people, they can't understand me. As a result, I have failed to make new friends during the past two years," she said.

In Yingtan, Zhang and her husband used to walk and chat with people in a square near their home after dinner every day. In Hefei, she rarely goes out and does not like to socialize.

"When my grandson comes back from school he talks to me for a while, but I am usually alone in the apartment during the day. When my son and daughter-in-law return, they might watch television, play on their phones, or work. I understand that they are too tired to speak much after a busy day, but I also want them to communicate with me and ask me how I am feeling," she said.

Zhang has thought about returning home several times, but after discussing this with her husband by phone, she abandoned the idea, as their grandson is still young and his parents are busy. She has decided to return to her hometown when her grandson enters junior middle school.

"My sister and brothers live in my hometown. I will go back in the future to live with my husband, when we can chat all day. We have sufficient savings, as the cost of living there is lower than in big cities. I also don't want to be a burden to my son's family when I'm old," Zhang said.