Forging friendships with locals in Beijing eases adjustment

Before moving to China last year, I was apprehensive about how I would be received here as a black, nonspeaking Chinese foreigner.

Now that I've been here for more than a year, I can safely say that my fears were largely unnecessary.

Though I've encountered rudeness among some Chinese people (which is to be expected; after all, in a country of more than 1 billion people, not everyone can be nice), the overwhelming majority of my encounters with locals have been positive, and a few have evolved to genuine friendships with both Chinese men and women that I have grown to cherish.

How did I do this? Well, besides the fact that I'm a naturally friendly person in general, I found that the easiest way to connect with Chinese people for possible friendships was to promote my desire to learn and practice Mandarin. To that end, social media was the key.

I found online groups that sought to facilitate language exchanges between Chinese people and foreigners. There are many people in China who would love the chance to develop their speaking skills in other languages, and English is rather popular. So, as a native English speaker, I had something to offer, and as native Mandarin speakers, they had something to offer me.

We had mutually beneficial interests that we could build on, and that's how it went. Like a small snowball growing in size as it rolls down a blanketed mountain.

One group in particular met in Chaoyang Park every Sunday. It was a fairly popular group, with Chinese, German, French and Brazilian people. And me, the lone American. But I was more than OK with that. We would all bring food and drinks and have a picnic, chatting away while we ate. I did my best to speak Chinese, as did the other foreigners, while the Chinese participants endeavored to speak English ... or French, or German, or even Spanish (because the German and Brazilian guys also knew Spanish).

Sadly, the group eventually dissolved, but not before I was able to make friends with people in it, particularly some of the Chinese people. We still keep in touch and hang out. In fact, this past weekend, I joined friends at the Lama Temple as well as the Beer Festival in Sanlitun.

My Chinese friend who went with me to the temple taught me a lot about Buddhism. For example, I learned that the reason people set fire to incense to use while they pray is because the smoke is like a food for the gods that satiates them, making them more receptive to your prayers.

The festival, on the other hand, was just plain fun. It was nice to sit with Chinese friends, enjoy beer and talk, sharing our stories and ideas. I invited one of my foreign friends to hang out with us, and he speaks Mandarin very well, so I had the privilege of listening to him communicate with them in their native language while I struggled to keep up! Seriously, we all had a great time.

Two completely different venues, but both especially enjoyable because I had my Chinese friends with me.

That's not to say that I haven't enjoyed making acquaintances with other foreigners here. I have, and I appreciate them as well. But it's so great to have Chinese friends who have been so helpful and kind to me, helping me navigate waters that they instinctively know so well. And it's also great that not only am I learning from them, but that they, in turn, are learning from me.

Contact the writer at jamal@chinadaily.com.cn