Facing life's challenges together

Fan Jingyu, a 24-year-old who married in 2013 when she was a junior student at university, talks about her married life:

I was lucky, because although I married on a sudden impulse, marriage has been quite good for me so far.

My husband, a Brazilian, is three years older than me. We met and fell in love when I was studying at a university in Brazil as an exchange student in 2012. His positive, independent and organized personality attracted me to him.

But like many married women, I have found that my husband has changed and is now different from when we got married.

For example, I have found that he can sometimes be lazy.

At such times, I complain to him for not washing the dishes, not tidying a room or not walking the dog, but he never quarrels with me. Instead, he negotiates with me peacefully and tries to make me happy again by finishing the housework as soon as possible.

We have been married for almost two years, and my husband is a night person, while I sleep and get up early.

He will leave a note for me before he goes to bed, telling me not to forget to take my vitamins, for example.

I reply to him on the same note after I get up the next morning. From time to time, we communicate in this way, which I think is interesting and romantic.

The biggest challenge we have encountered in our married life came three or four months ago when my husband was diagnosed with slight depression, resulting from his heavy workload as a master's engineering student.

During this period, it seemed as if he had become another person who was unhappy and pessimistic all day. I was worried about him. As his wife, all I could do was to be by his side, encourage him and make him happy.

I accompanied him to see a psychologist and took him out for walks to make him relaxed. I also took him to see traditional Chinese medicine doctors, who used methods including acupuncture to help him. Now he is better than before.

Although we married when we were undergraduates, we are progressing and becoming more mature as time goes by. Life is the best teacher that helps you to understand the meaning of marriage.

(China Daily European Weekly 10/30/2015 page25)